Monday, September 6, 2010

On children and punishment

What kind of place have we come to in our world where we must beat and scream at our children to get them to listen. Too many times have I been walking somewhere I public and have seen people doing just this. And too many times have I been silent about it. I am not talking about a swat on the butt or a spanking. I am talking about literally taking a swing at your child’s head or hitting them so hard that it is going to leave a welt or bruise on their body. Shaking them so hard that their head and limbs are flying all over the place. Don’t you realized that this can leave permanent damage to their bodies?
I see people literally leaned over into their child’s face just screaming at the top of their lungs at them. Other times it is them telling them to stop their crying… especially when they were the ones who made them cry in the first place. Slapping their children across the face because they’ve said no. I’ve listened to mothers hitting the hell out of their children in public bathrooms. Father's dragging children out of bathrooms with tears streaming down their faces.(Yes, i know some kids just cry like this.)I’ve seen too many people threatening their children. Such as, if you don’t quit, I’ll beat the hell out of you. Do we really need to make our children fear us? Telling them to get out of our faces or to shut up. What good is that going to do? The worse part is seeing children repeating these actions with other children. Can you not find a more gentle way to get them to listen. Can you not take the time to help them redirect their energy? It’s too much and it needs to stop. My god people, these are our children, not objects to take our frustrations out on.
What ever happened to time outs or taking the time to sit down and talk about their actions. Listen to your children, there is usually a reason why they are acting out in the way they do. They have a voice that needs to be heard too. That’s all I’m saying people. Simply take a breath, take a second, count to ten, try to calm yourself before you yourself take any action.
In more recent times I have become more vocal when I see these things. There are times when I will say something like, “is that really necessary”. Yes, I myself will get a glare or be yelled at. But do I really care, no. And yes, I know I am not a mother myself, but I have worked with children before. I know there are other less violent ways to get children to take better actions. And I know if I ever get the chance in life to be blessed with children of my own, I will raise them with gentleness.
And maybe this will help to lessen the amount of violence in our world.

By Chieko Ross ©

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